Tuesday, July 30, 2013

Chinese Jump Rope (but not really)

When I was a kid we used to play Chinese Jump Rope for hours on end.  I wasn't great at it but I wasn't terrible.  I could say that about most things in my life actually.

Soccer: I wasn't great at it, but I wasn't terrible...(unless you put me on the field instead of goal...THEN I'm terrible!)

School: I wasn't great at it, but I wasn't terrible...I graduated high school with minimal effort....I took about 6 years getting an AA degree and I am only just now going back to actually try to do something with my life.

Being a drug addict:  I wasn't great at it, but I was actually pretty good at it...I never sought out to be a "Drug Addict" per say....I was just very interested in experimenting...I just like to experience new things.  I ended up experiencing a lot for about a year and a half.  I never NEEDED any of the drugs I took to get through my day...I just enjoyed them on recreational level...often.  Enough on that though...you can see my post about acid being my religion if you are interested in delving into this subject any deeper.

Anyway...you get the idea.  I wander through life in mediocrity....and I'm just fine with that.  I have absolutely no interest in being the best at anything.  I enjoy the peace of knowing that I will never be tops. I have time to stop and look around because I am not constantly striving for something I will never achieve.  Sometimes I think about where I could have been, or what I might have accomplished had I pushed myself to do things more productive on a Saturday night than stay up all night listening to loud music in fuzzy pants...but then I think about how different my life might have been and I quickly realize that where I'm at right now is right where I want to be.  Sure I might be more successful and actually have the amount of money required to send my 4-year-old daughter to preschool without agonizing over how we're going to pay for it...but would I have the 4-year-old daughter at all?...and if I did...would she be the awesome one I have now?  Who knows what would have come.  Basically...I can't imagine my life to be any different than it is today.

 In-out-in-KILL!  :)

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