Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Feeling sad about Amy...

At the gym last night I decided on Amy Winehouse as my music of choice for my treadmill session.  I hopped on the treadmill and once I had sorted out the untangling of my headphones (how the FUCK do they get so tangled when all I do is wrap them around my fingers and put it into a little pouch??  Every time I go to the gym I have to spend 5 minutes doing this!  So annoying!!!) I placed the buds in my ears and started walking away to the soulful sounds of Amy's voice.  I warmed up by walking a quarter mile to "Rehab" and then kicked it up a notch and started jogging to "You Know I'm No Good."  As I started jogging I glanced up at the TV and noticed the face of the voice that was singing in my ears.  Apparently her parents had appeared on the new Anderson Cooper daytime talk show (?) about her death and how alcohol was the cause of it.  I'm horrible at reading the closed captions on the TV at the gym because I don't have my glasses with me and because I'm on the move so all the words are jumping up and down.  It's too much for my weak eyes to handle.  As I jogged through my next two miles I kept glancing up at the TV monitor (because...really...there are only so many places you can look when you're on a treadmill at the gym...TV monitor, calories burned, distance traveled, in the mirror to the side to see if all this is making any sort of difference in my weight or appearance, to the other machines to see how those people are looking, compare myself to them, look down to the first level to all the people with the weights, back to the calories burned, time elapsed...holy shit it's only been 5 seconds!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!!!!! Back to the TV Monitor and repeat...sometimes varying the order to mix it up a bit)  and I see that now there is a Dr Drew show on and there is some kind of panel discussion about the addiction and death of the troubled singer.  I started to feel really sad that this beautiful voice ringing in my ears will sing no more.  That we will never hear new songs from this immense talent.  That she must have been in so much pain to be such a mess.  I also was feeling a little annoyed that this panel of people were there talking about her and speculating about her when they don't really know.  Who are they?  One girl was an ex drug addict?  Who isn't!  (Well...I guess a lot of people aren't...but there are A LOT that are!!) How does she qualify as someone that can get on TV and talk about someone she never knew for a huge paycheck!?!  I finished up my treadmill session and walked away...but still with the sound of Amy in my ears.  I'm sad for the loss of her...so young and so talented.  I wish that she didn't have to be exploited in such ways, but that's what this fucked up world is about so I guess it's unavoidable.  Sorry Amy. 

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