Wednesday, September 7, 2011

Hump Day-PULL OVER!...

So it's Wednesday...otherwise referred to as Hump Day.  It's my first day back to work since last Tuesday and I'm not exactly thrilled about it.  Back to the usual routine of getting out of bed at an unGODly hour to get myself and Emily ready for another day.  Dad's pissed off back to Madrid and here I am back in Long Beach for another day of work.  As am driving up the 605 this morning in the carpool lane (and thank goodness I have the that school is back in session everywhere the traffic has returned to hellish conditions) cruising somewhere between 65-70MPH I happened to pass by a cop or highway patrol who was crawling along in the "FAST" lane.  I glanced up into the rear view mirror a second later and noticed that the cop had crossed over into the carpool lane behind me.  I started to get nervous but assured myself that I was (thankfully) going the speed limit and he was just moving over to get through the traffic.  I approached my exit from the carpool lane as I was approaching the 91 freeway (where I need to go next on my route to drop Emily off).  I moved over one lane and then noticed the cop do the same.  I moved over another lane and noticed the cop continue to follow me.  Uh oh...the panic sets in.  Thoughts racing through my head: Oh shit! What the hell am I going to do?  I'm going to get arrested.  They're going to have to call Joe to pick up Emily on the side of the freeway as her mom gets dragged away for jail as there is surely a warrant out for my arrest for the speeding ticket that is outstanding from two years ago that I haven't paid or done anything about hoping it would just magically disappear from my life if I ignore it long enough!  AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! 
So the bright lights start flashing behind me and I'm starting to shit it big time.  I almost started crying but I think I got too scared to even do that.  The whole time Emily is in the back seat saying "Not that one! Not that one!" because she was unhappy with the song that was playing at the time.  I saw no place to pull over because there were cones and barricades along the side of the freeway you would normally pull over on.  Now I'm freaking out because I don't know what to do next.  I turn off the song that Emily is crying about and hear the cop yelling something at me over the loudspeaker.  I can't really make out what the fuck he is saying so I just keep going and hope that there will be a place for me to pull over soon!  At last there is a turnout.  I pull over and my hands are shaking and my heart is racing and I just want it all to fade to black so bad so I don't have to deal with whatever is about to happen.  He walks up to the side of the car, I roll down the passenger side window and he chirps a "Good morning" to me.  I give some kind of nervous smile and repeat "Good morning" back to him.  He says "I'm sorry.  I pulled you over for riding solo in the Carpool lane...but I see you have your daughter with you..." and then he says "Good morning" to Emily and she just looks at me like "What the Fuck is going on here?" and he says "just make sure you gain some speed before you merge back onto the freeway," and I rolled up the window, gained speed on the shoulder and merged back onto the freeway and went on my merry way.  My heart was pounding out of my chest and did so for about the next hour but I won!  Nothing happened!  I played by the rules and NOTHING HAPPENED!  YESSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS!  Emily was still really confused and asked "Where we going?"  I assured her we were going to grandma's house and it was smooth sailing from there on out. Crisis averted! BAM!!!

However, if I had been arrested I would have requested that they use these:

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